By : I Putu Yogi Agustia Pratama
Topic
sentence : A free hug is like hugs from other people.
(maybe you can
add some word which can show the specific aspect or to make it more
interesting. Example: A free hug is hug from other people which makes us share
our love and happiness.)
Major
supporting sentence 1 : We see where a man who looks like crazy
carrying banners that read free hugs.
Minor
supporting sentence (1) : - First, a man
looks crazy with the banners that run in a city, but that man to do invite all
people to campaign for free hugs.
(maybe
you need to make this sentence simpler and please try to put a full stop or
period.)
- Where
the presence of free hugs we could feel the love in the arms of each other and
also get a sense of togetherness.
(I think you don’t need to put this sentence because it’s not really support the
major sentence.)
Major
supporting sentence 2 : Then, there is the old women who first embraced
that man, out of which began to arise to bright light and the people began to
think to do free hugs.
Minor
supporting sentence (2) : - From grandmother's arms is clearly visible
affection given radiance so that it can attract one by one people to participate
do free hugs.
- Then,
everyone hugged each other and to make each other happy ambience in the city.
(I don't really understand what do you mean by this sentence. I mean the word "make each other happy ambience in the city". I think there was something wrong with it.
Major
supporting sentence 3 : When many people have embraced each other and
bring the paper that said free hugs, there are several policemen who dismiss
their activities and ban the people hugging.
Minor
supporting sentence (3) : - But it doesn’t to make those people to stop
hugging and doesn’t make the first man to give up free hugs to everyone.
(It better is the sentence, "But, it doesn't make those people to stop hugging and doesn't make the first man give up doing free hugs to everyone.")
Major
supporting sentence 4 : Then, the man signatures request to everyone
who participated in the activities of free hugs.
Minor
supporting sentence (4) : - The man get 10,000 signatures from the people
and able to convince the police would mean that hug and assure that the hug is
a sense of compassion for the people who loved like their own family.
(maybe you have to separate it into some sentences.)
Major
supporting sentence 5 : Finally, the police agree with the free hugs
campaign and the officers also huge each other with all of people.
Minor
supporting sentence (5) : - In the end everyone was hugging each other.
Concluding sentence : We
can start to hug each other people, because the arms of a love for each other
and will also lead to a sense of family with each other.